Tainia - Zwh

h zwh einai san mia tainia.. exei arxi mesi kai telos.. ksekiname ena taksidi gia na apoktisoume empeiries kales kai kakes.. stin arxi ola fenontai uperoxa afou oloi exoume tis pateritses mas sta prwta mas vimata, oi goneis mas, oi opoioi tha einai panta ekei gia emas otan tha tous xreiastoume se kathe kalh kai asximi stigmi.. na xerontai me emas i na stenaxwriounte gia mas.. kapoia stigmi omws ksekiname kai perpatame monoi mas kai ekei erxete i mesi tis tainias mas...

stin mesi loipon tin tainias erxontai oi duskolies oi apogohteuseis ma sinama erxontai kai oi erwtes oi eukairies kai analoga me tis epiloges mas dialegoume na apogoiteuomaste kai na menoume me stavromena ta xeria i na paleuoume kai na menoume dunatoi gia to aurio.. mexri simera eixa mathei na menw me stavrwmena ta xeria kai na min kserw ti na kanw, i mallon na lew ston eauto mou oti dn mporw na kanw tpt.. dn itan oti dn mporousa.. apla epeleksa na meinw katw.. epesa kai anti na shkwthw emeina katw me to kefali skimeno kai na rwtaw giati na ginontai ola auta kai giati dn mporw na kanw kati?? kai omws mporw kai to prwto vima gia na ta kataferw einai na shkwthw kai na prospathisw pali gia otidipote me erikse gia otidipote thelw na kanw gia osa mporw na kanw..

epeleksa na min dw tin tainia-zwh mou na pernaei mprosta apo ta matia mou kai otan erthei to telos ths na trexw gia na tin ftasw.. epeleksa na shkwthw kai na zhsw se authn, na zhsw gia authn, na zhsw tin tainia mou, na zhsw tin zwh mou kai tha ksekinisw apo ta poio apla pragmata, apo ena aplo xamogelo, apo enan erwta, apo enan aplo kafe to prwi, apo mia douleia apo oti ola auta stin sunexeia tha mou epiferoun...
Epeleksa na zw...

afierwmeno sto nomisteraki mou stin pateritsa mou kserei ekeini ;) se latreuw.. s'euxaristw...

ase me...

Agapame... Agapame opws i gh agapaei ta mwra ths, ta dentra, ta futa, ta zwa.. Frontise me opws ta frontizei ekeini.. Tous dinei nero, trofi, tous dinei zwh..
Dwse mou zwh kai mena dn zitaw polla... ena fili sou zitaw mono.. ena mikro fili apo auta ta uperoxa trufera sou xeili... oksugono gia mena...
dwse mou mia aggalia.. krata me sfixta, kane me na niwsw asfalis..
Ase me na se parw kai gw mia..
Ase me na aisthanthw oti me exeis anagkh..
Ase me na akousw tin kardia sou..

Auth pou se krataei zwntano... krataei zwntani kai mena..

S'agapaw polu kardia mou...

i kalimera sou.. i zwi mou

prepei na feugeis to katalavainw.. i logiki mou nai i kardia mou oxi... se zitaei sunexeia..
pali ekatsa me to pou efuges kai pira aggalia tin kithara mou to mono pragma pou me iremei otan dn eisai konta mou to mono pragma pou kanei tis wres mou makria sou ligotero odunhres..

ekleisa ta matia mou kai se fantastika edw konta mou kai ksekinisa na paizw... me kleista ta matia...
epaiza enan rythmo pou dn exw ksanapaiksei dn exw ksanakousei... meta ksekinisan kai ta logia..
logia pou evgainan toso aneta apo to xeili mou pou oute egw katalavaina pws to ekana alla dn me enoiaze... aisthanomoun oti isoun dipla mou auto mou eftane..

otan teleiwsa to tragoudi mou, mou eipes s'agapw.. emeina ekei me kleista ta matia dn ithela na ta anoiksw... na ta anoiksw gia na antikrisw ti? ena toso gemato-adeio dwmatio?
afisa tin kithara sto patwma kai ksaplwsa.. kai me pire o upnos.. ksupnisa tin epomeni mera kai esu isoun ekei eksw apo tin porta mou na mou xtupas to koudouni na sou anoiksw..

otan akousa to koudouni dn ithela pali na anoiksw ta matia mou.. thumomoun to xthesino vradu.. alla eprepe.. piga stin porta tin anoiksa kai se eida na mou xamogelas kai na me perneis aggalia na mou dineis to fili tis zwis kai na mou les kalimera.. me pires apo to xeri kai me piges sto krevati me ksaplwses kai irthes kai me pires aggalia na koimithoume mazi kai koimithika.. apokoimithika stin aggalia sou kai aisthanomoun tin kardia mou na trellainete.. opws kathe fora pou me aggaliazeis.. opws kathe fora pou me koitas.. opws kathe fora pou me filas..

ksupnisa dipla sou.. anoiksa ta matia mou kai eida ta omorfa prasina matakia sou na me koitazoun toso trufera toso storgika toso prosextika.. kai me tin akri tou xeriou sou na me xaideueis apala... ena pragma ithela mono...

na pagwsw tin stigmi...

o aggelos mou kai to xrwma tou.. :)

Enas aggelos mpike stin zwi mou prosfata o opoios me eide na klaiw.. xwris na exei kamia sxesi, xwris na prosexei ta ftera tou, xwris na skeutei ton eauto tou ksekinise na zei mesa ston diko mou efialti ton opoio evafa me mauro kai gkri xrwma..

etsi skeutike na parei ena pinelo kai ksekinise na vafei pano sto efialti mou me xrwma kokkino mple prasino kitrino, egw omws imoun kollimeni ston efialti mou eixa egklovisei ton idio mou ton eafto kai xwris na to katalavw evafa panw sta xrwmata tou evafa panw sta ftera tou kai ton tsakisa.. ton ponesa ton ekana na kathete se mia gwnia kai na min mou milaei.. otan ton eida na kathete kai na min mou apeuthini ton logo tote gurisa kai eida tis teleutaies pinelies pou dn eixa prolavei na svisw se xrwma kokkino kai katalava... katalava oti dn ithela na zw allo mesa ston efialti gt dn upirxe kanenas.. stin ousia ton ekana moni mou dn evlepa oti eixa enan aggelo dipla mou pou prospathouse na mou ton kanei oneiro..

tote me pire apo to xeri kai an kai tou eixa ferthei toso asxima mou edwse to pinelo tou kai mou eipe einai dikia sou epilogi.. kai ksekinisa... ksekinisa na zwgrafizw me xrwma kai na gelaw na aisthanomai kai na eimai xaroumeni.. ksekinise kai ekeinos mazi mou kai zwgrafizame to pio omorfo oneiro pou mporousa na eixa pote mou alla kai pali ton eixa pligwsei tou eixa spasei ta ftera kai stamatisa na zwgrafizw stamatisa na tou milaw gt fovomoun oti den tou aksiza fovomoun oti dn tha mporouse na meinei edw mazi mou...

ekeini tin stigmi irthe dipla mou me pire aggalia kai me pige toso psila ma toso psila kai mou eipe oti dn tha me afisei pote na pesw to mono pou tha kanei einai na sunexizei na zwgrafizei mexri ekei pou dn tha mporei allo tha sunexizei na mou dinei to oneiro mou tha sunexisei na me pigainei psila...

afierwmeno ston aggelo pou mpike stin zwi mou
se euxaristw pou me afises na gurisw otan se pligwsa
se euxaristw pou gyrises s'agapw....

h tuxh mou

itan i kaluteri apofasi pou eixa parei pote mou kai tis ekana oti xeirotero mporousa na tis kanw.. tin prodwsa..

h tuxh mas xtupa elaxistes ews midamines fores tin porta.. emena mou tin xtupise tis anoiksa kai mpike mesa.. mou prosefere oti agatha zitousa, oti mporousa na oneireutw, oti ithela kai apozitousa.. kai egw sto telos ti ekana xwris na to skeutw kan? tin evgala eksw kai tis eipa fuge..

gt imoun toso ilithia?? gt tin petaksa eksw? twra tin psaxnw kai dn kserw pou vriskete dn mou milaei.. mou klinei to thlefwno sta moutra kai aisthanomai oti tin exw xasei mia gia panta...

kardia...

polles fores oloi mas pername mia asximi periodo stin zwi mas kai dn kseroume pws na tin antimetopisoume.. alles fores to provlima einai oikonomiko alles fores einai oikogeneiako alles fores einai erwtiko... oso afora to erwtiko kommati... oloi tha gurisoun kai tha sou poun kane auto pou leei i kardia sou... ti ki an i kardia mou kanei lathos? gt na dokimasw na tin akousw enw kathe fora pou to ekana me eferne panta pio konta ston gkremo? gt na riskarw na pesw se auton anti na kanw pisw?

telika tin akousa... alla akousa to miso tis kommati gt to allo miso tis ton fwnaze, eklaige, mou ekaige to stithos... akousa to miso tis kardias mou kai omws gia na zisoume tin xreiazomaste olokliri kai oxi misi...

kardia... ena toso mikro organo tous swmatos mas pou omws xwris auto dn zoume... mas krataei zwntanous.. filoksenei exthrous kai filous... Agaph, erwta, xara, eutuxia, pisth, elpida, sofia.... Misos, dustuxia, luph, apaisodoksia, misalodoksia, egwismo, kai alla tosa ametrhta sunaisthimata... ena toso da pragmataki kai omws xwris auto dn pame vima... auto mas kanei to ti eimaste stin zwi mas kai to pws antimetopizoume ta pragmata.. ti ginetai omws otan akoma kai auti dn kserei ti na mas pei? i misi leei gh kai i alli misi leei ourano?

akousa fuge... fuge gt dn se pernei, fuge gt se ponaei, fuge gt ponaw kai gw... kai efuga... ti ginetai omws me to allo miso? to allo miso dn uparxei pia... dn einai edw mazi mou...

oneira...

Na oneireuesai.. ta oneira sunithws prodidoun paraplanoun kamia fora skotwnoun... omws dn ginetai na zeis xwris oneira, den ginetai na min oneireuesai... den exei noima.. dn exei ousia..

Na oneireuesai.. koita mono na exeis stamparei kala tin eksodo kindunou apo ta oneira sou.. tote swzesai.. kai poia einai i eksodos kindunou??
- Tipota dn einai stin zwi to pan. -
exei panta parakalw, exei ki allo, exei kainourgia pragmata, kainourgies skepseis, kainourgies idees, kainourgioi erwtes, kainourgia oneira...

Proxwra loipon, ksekolla..